Whose idea was this???

I am angry today! And what made me angry? Visiting the National Archives of Australia. I’m deadly serious.

I have often said that if I had one bullet, I’d go back in time and deploy it against that fellow with the brilliant idea to move the Capital of Australia from Melbourne to Canberra. Today, I found out just who I’ll go after when time-travel technology finally matures.

Because the explanation usually offered for the choice of the Capital’s location is that it ‘was agreed by the fathers of Federalism’, my one bullet would not have been too effective in changing the course of history. But after my visit to the Archives I now know that the hero responsible for the final push to establish Federal Government in Canberra was Prime Minister Stanley Melbourne Bruce – a name that now makes me shudder with rage.

At the time that this little detail was revealed I was in a calm and attentive state, casually enjoying a guided tour of the Stanley Melbourne Bruce exhibition. I was thinking ‘wasn’t this chap terribly accomplished and forward-looking’, when that special little factoid was revealed. Followed then by an enthusiastic explanation of the wall of photos commemorating this ‘achievement’.

My mood changed like the wind. Rage boiled within me. My face involuntarily twitched and contorted as murderous ideas roared across my mind. As my temperature rose, I sensed the discomfort of the guide, who must have thought I was having an aneurism. That bastard Prime Minister! What the f**k were you thinking?! From there on I couldn’t appreciate a damned thing this man had achieved!

So I’ve spent the last few hours googling research and development in time-travel, and how to acquire a single bullet. Although I must admit feeling slightly softened, after remembering that the establishment of our greatest hope for developing such technology, the CSIRO, can also be credited to Mr Bruce.

I’ve adapted this little quote from Goethe to capture the lesson I learned today: ‘He who cannot draw on three thousand years is living less pissed off.’